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2010-09-30 - 10:02 a.m.

time to move on

moved: http://luminite.wordpress.com



2010-08-10 - 3:08 a.m.


special days suck



2010-08-10 - 3:01 a.m.


i'm sick of giving chances and giving in.



2010-07-21 - 10:45 p.m.


You don't need me... that much.



2010-07-21 - 10:21 a.m.


You said

But I am bloody rotting in my house not knowing what to do or what to think.



2010-07-19 - 7:00 p.m.


Life is about chances and the unexpected. Its about us taking whatever comes and using the strength that we have, change it to something beautiful.

But I hate it when it comes a time, you reach a junction where you know the decision you make will change things forever.

Who will guide me and tell me the right thing to do.

God I so need you.



2010-07-13 - 11:47 p.m.

left unheard

What can you count on for your perception on something?

What people tell you?
What apparent evidence show?
What your gut feelings say?
What has past in history?

Well, I think none of them counts.



2010-07-10 - 1:55 a.m.

Boardgames night

Lying on my bed again satisfied from a bowl of maggi mee (chicken soup flavor!). Was really hungry from my long night of boardgames! Boardgames can be really fun :D But I found out that it's usually a bad idea to ask the staff to recommend coz they v often do for a game that is easy to explain but not that fun :( so we like wasted an hour on this sucky game b4 one of us had the courage to point out that it sucks.

Oh well if u do head down to pitstop/minds/settlers cafe u can try "I'm the boss" or "modern art" they are both not bad games for people who prefer more strategic games.

K got to sleep like immediately coz I need to be at mt faber safra at like 8am tmr rah!!!







2010-07-09 - 2:24 a.m.

Long time old love

Lying on my bed. Supposed to be sleeping but like any other day I got to go through this routine of fiddling with my iPhone b4 I sleep. Usually it's a game but feeling talkative tonight, so I'll chat with me blog instead!

It's the first time I'm using my phone to blog. And yes I know it's ridiculous coz it's freaking hard to type. But I assure u I'm not one of those apple fans who live, eat, sleep apple. I'm just lazy to get to my laptop...

Blogging is slowly losing it's appeal and diaryland is considered pretty old school... But what the heck I still enjoy it. I may have fallen pray to facebook and Twitter but it's always easy to rekindle my old love with blogging. Due to the absurb word limit on fb and Twitter, it's really annoying to see how people try to express their whole emotion or life with just one sentence. Worst still, with one of the most inappropriate phrase of "fml". Note: fml stands for f*** my life. I just googled it. It really bothered me how it's so overused and I still cannot decipher it's meaning. But no wonder. It doesn't make sense literally or figuratively.

Oh wells, time to tweet everyone good night since nobody will receive it here!



2010-07-07 - 12:08 p.m.

the terrible media


Have always been supportive of local dramas and if I were to watch a drama show, I'll catch every single episode! Haha. Yea even the 《握着你的手》 which has like freaking 180 episodes!!!

But I quite like 《三个女人一个宝》 because its really cute and it also portrays good moral lessons. But the last episode yesterday was really DISAPPOINTING!!! Basically, one of the mains "weiming" has a few problems like his wife was going to leave him because of a misunderstanding and his brother threatened to sever ties because of their mother's will.

So how would mediacorp solve this problem? They did it by letting weiming swallow a bottle of poison and did this dramatic scene where he was foaming and emitting clear liquid from his mouth in the middle of the CBD area, and his wife freaking out at this sight. Then problem solved! The wife and brother saw how weiming tried to kill himself and they felt so bad they give in totally to weiming and suddenly even the bad sister-in-law was enlightened and amended her ways.

So committing suicide solves all problems??!!

There was also this other advertisement my parents saw. It is by maxicash the pawn shop. So the female lead wants to give an expensive present to her bf but doesn't have the money. So she decided to pawn something and then with the money buy sth for the bf. The bf receives it and was overjoyed and the gf also overjoyed. In my grandma's words: "如果boyfriend这样,不要也罢了!" In fact my grandma has a better idea. She said that its better to let the lead pawn something to pay for her son's education or something! More meaningful right...tot up by a wise 72 year old =D

Another sucky commercial is the panadol one. Where this taxi driver suffers back pain from driving taxi everyday, so he recommends everybody to eat panadol which can numb your senses (deluding you to thinking you don't have the backpain) for up to 8 hours. So ya...the advertisement is telling you to eat painkillers 3 times a day to solve ur back problems. What the hell is wrong with them?!

Obviously people with the power of media got to be more responsible with what they show.



2010-07-06 - 7:38 p.m.


Prawning today! But it was rather pathetic as we watch the other people catch prawn after prawn while our rod remains motionless.

The uncle who owns the business was really nice and gave us a longer rod (hehe to others all using the short rods there), and he also added something (substance x?) to our fishing bait.

Its really nice when people are nice. But it occurred to me, that in modern times, people are expected to be like nonchalant or selfish. So now, mean actions are taken to be the norm while people being nice is really special.

Kind of odd isn't it.

Uncle also gave us half hour free. haha. But I don't it affects his business much, considering the amount of prawns we get.

Final score - 6 prawns in 2 and 1/2 hours. Prawns for supper tonight!!!



2010-06-29 - 3:24 a.m.

days of boredom

Realize I have abandoned my blog since my last paper...so guess its good news coz it means hol's a blast!!!

Yea...with all the sleeping...eating...watching fringe...sleeping...eating...and the cycle goes on. I'm quite convinced that I'll actually evolve to a pig if this continues any further.

I miss the days when I just spend hours walking around or staring at the sky.

I need to just randomly pick a bus and randomly take myself to some place...

But its getting too hot and I'm freaking lazy!!!



2010-04-29 - 12:45 a.m.


Now I'm preparing for the last exam I'll ever have in NTU and I'm getting all jittery about it! Its by far the most difficult paper I'll ever have to attempt in Uni!!!

Why why why~~~

I think its a reminder to me. About how much I don't know, and how much I can't do without others, and how much more I need to learn.



2010-04-28 - 2:24 a.m.

awaken in silence

The seduction of the night coupled with the sensuality of good music; what can be more alluring...

When I forget to feel, I just keep very silent and let the emotions emerge.



2010-04-26 - 10:07 p.m.


Finally the hoo-ha of the star awards is over. Its nice to just admire all these pretty babes and hot hunks, but then I see those fan clubs screaming and shouting...really DBT la, really waste time sia.

Here's something I'll never fail to laugh at... =D



2010-04-25 - 2:44 p.m.


I used to like to walk. Never planning where to go, just arriving at where my legs would bring me.

I could sit by the roadside and admire a flower or watch the clouds float by.

I liked to spend time alone, to concentrate on absorbing all the beauty of this world.

I no longer do this. I don't like the hot sun, I'm afraid of dark lonely alleys and I don't have the time.

What happened to the free-spirited girl I used to be?

Just a nice song...



2010-04-24 - 3:07 p.m.

Gone too soon

Chanced upon a facebook group created in memory of a girl who just died on 20th April 2010. Apparently she's 23 years old and was in the dentistry faculty and came from my secondary school.

Read through the posts on the wall and there were so many people saying that they wished they had spent more time with her, and how much they were going to miss her. Even strangers wrote some consoling words, talking about how they don't really understand why she had to go but still wished that she had found eternal bliss.

I just felt that, if she had the chance to read all these things on the wall, perhaps she wouldn't bear to leave this world behind like that.

Gone too soon



2010-04-24 - 3:02 p.m.

online tv

After living in hall for like the 3rd year running into the 15th week of the semester, then do I realize that it is possible to watch channel 8 drama series ONLINE! And the quality is amazingly good, with fast enough buffering speed.

I found out yesterday right after my 2nd paper and watched 4 episodes of the 7pm show and the star awards that was telecast-ed last week.

Why has it got to happen now!!!!!!!!!!!



2010-04-18 - 11:23 a.m.


The ash from Iceland brings about more implications than I ever thought! Apparently now flights towards Europe are all being cancelled due to the enormous cloud of ash above the clouds of Europe.

Was having my breakfast when my mother told me that in 1819, the eruption of an Indonesian volcano made the whole world devoid of sunlight for an entire year. Then I said, "Really? The year when Standford Raffles found Singapore?!" Then she told me its 1816. Coz seriously how can Raffles travel when there isn't sunlight, all the way to Singapore.

She's been following the news very closely, as this may affect our stipulated trip to Europe in May. Let the ash disappear~~~



2010-04-15 - 9:10 p.m.

Cheese Dips Pizza =D

Today I finally had the chance to go get the new cheese dips pizza from pizza hut!! Check out the promotion  =D

Pizza Hut cheese dips promotion

It was real fab, and I ate till I was gonna explode! And I was really insistent on finishing the cheesy crusts although for the last 3 pieces I dug out and ate only the cheesy parts and left the bread parts on the plate. HEHE.

Berries Sparkle and Summer Sparkle

Cheese Dips Pizza!



2010-04-12 - 1:56 p.m.


I tried to add a title to this post, but everything that comes to my head seems inappropriate, so it shall remain title-less.

I was just thinking about the stories I heard, where people tend to turn their backs to God when life is difficult. Especially when they see no improvements after praying for a long time. To these people, I used to say, "God has a plan for you, beyond human understanding. Continue praying for the strength to carry on, and God's glory will come in good time." It was difficult for me to relate to them, because I felt that it was common knowledge God will never intentionally bring harm to us. As long as we believe in Him and continue to put our trust in Him, his beautiful plan will surely reveal eventually.

Then I realised the reason I can't relate to them, is not that they are weak. It is because I never asked God for anything that was so important as to them. And yes when recently I finally did, I realized how demoralizing things can get when nothing seems to happen. When each day seems worst than the previous. And its worst when I realized after all this, that I am the only one who can changed how I feel about things.

It is times like this when I am so tempted to retreat into my own comfort zone again.

I just want to be .



2010-04-11 - 9:06 p.m.

the little mermaid

Today went to my little cousin's birthday (she's 5) then there was nothing much to do, so I was watching the very old school classic "the little mermaid" in the living room. I can't help but realize how much my thinking has changed since long.


5 yr old sweet me: "Ariel so pretty and Eric so handsome! They must live together happily ever after!"
22 yr old old me: "What the hell, damn superficial, look at each other then just because good looks like each other already. Marry liaos confirm divorce."

5 yr old sweet me: "Ariel so brave. Do so many things in order to find true love with the prince."
22 yr old old me: "Jian nv ren! Super hua chi and bimbotic. Disobey the father, leave her country or rather waters and just live in the guy's house to seduce him."

5 yr old sweet me: "Ariel so pretty with her red hair! Eric must love her a lot!"
22 yr old old me: "Walk around in bikini top only want to show off her boobs. Confirm Eric only keep looking at the boobs."

I mean like SERIOUSLY.



2010-04-11 - 8:52 p.m.

on the other side

I've been hearing a lot about MIRC and stuff. People are astonished that I've never used it before but then again, it was the trend of the older generation, I am young ok! MUAHAHAHHAHAHA. Anyways, just joined the MIRC community because I heard that it can be used to transfer files really fast when u're on the same LAN. So I've been there in and out trying to get certain files that I need.

Then just one random day, my female friend who also goes on the MIRC often told me that somebody wants to talk to me. That was then the first time I noticed the main chat window of the channel. I didn't really reply to that, but then I realized from chat window conversation, how girls are always treated more "special" in the virtual world. Could see like how the people were kind of like fighting to chat with the few precious girls in the channel. Then I just casually mentioned that I couldn't find a certain show episodes 3-10 and then waa-la! The whole group of guys there were discussing about how to get it, and by the next day, it was in my harddisk.

I do admit its kind of nice to have that kind of privilege when u're a girl. And besides when u're online, you don't even have to be a hot girl! You only have to be A GIRL. Then u'll get all the attention and help that you ask for. But it kinds of irk me. Like it can't possibly be because internet guys all happen to be very nice and helpful right. Its more like a stepping stone for them to find out if you're pretty and hot.

It reminds me of how long ago when I was innocent and young at the age of 13....haha. I can't remember is it through a chat room or a multiplayer online RPG game or what. But then I was chatting with this guy who claimed to be in poly and he seemed different from the rest, in the sense that he didn't speak dirty or asked anything too personal. Like just nice casual chatting. And I thought that it was good to find a friend, like a penpal who you don't really need to know well such that complications might come in (like u might argue and get upset or find out he has some disgusting habits you hate), but just a distant person you can talk too if you want. Then one day, the guy told me he saw me in causeway point foodcourt and it really shocked me because I WAS there at the time he said. And it was really scary. So I cut off all contacts with him and ignored all messages. Like what the hell.

So the main thing is, girls please do not chat with internet guys. Because if they are nice and all, they don't have to try to chat to girls on the other side of the screen.



2010-04-04 - 10:12 p.m.

Easter Sunday

Happy Easter Sunday to everybody =D

Went to 11am mass and during the homily, Father called for all the children to the altar. Then he asked them, "What does Easter mean to you?"

"Jesus rose again." -> "eh, Jesus rose, not rose again"
"Jesus dead for u." -> "Hm Jesus died for us"

Haha. Its cute hearing children speak. Then one said,

"Its a time to hunt for Easter eggs." Haha. Then the Father was trying to get the child to say who hid the Easter eggs, because he is very against parents who teach the children the wrong concepts of holy days! I remember last time when I was in primary school, the school will always organise this big Easter egg hunting competition and they'll release us into the field (yes I used the word release, coz when it starts we all like just chiong to the field like some wild hungry beasts!!!). Out of my 6 years in pri sch, there was only a year when I found 2 Easter eggs (the other years none, so damn lousy). I can't remember what the prize was, but still v happy =D

Then in the afternoon went to ah ma's house as usual. Then my cousin Hui Hui jio me to play Zinga with her. Then I asked her to explain to me how its played. Its amazing to ask children of 7 and 5 years old (her younger sister En En is 5) to teach you something. Then we had a few rounds of Zinga, it was actually quite fun! And shit I always lose to them. HAHAHAHHAAHHA ok la i wasn't so mean i got let them a bit hor...

Then we opened some presents my auntie gave them. U know how many kids have definitely at some time owned this toy which allows u to draw and with the slide of the thing at the bottom, u erase the picture? What u draw on the board is black on a white background and its v pixelized that kind. Yea, now they have them in COLOR. Actually its just when u draw on a certain part of the board, the drawing is a certain pre-fixed color.

Then we end up playing many rounds of tic tac toe. Then I taught Hui hui how to win. Exampe, if u are the first to start, u must always choose the middle slot. Then if the opponent chooses a corner slot, I taught her the way you must always end up in a draw with ur opponent (if ur opponent is smart enough), otherwise u might just win. If the opponent chooses a side slot, then i taught her how to trap the opponent so that u'll always win. And amazingly she learns it. SHE IS SO SMART!

i used to hate kids a lot, like i find them v super irritating and noisy. But recently, I feel that I have learnt how to spend some enjoyable and quality time with them!



2010-04-03 - 7:25 p.m.

holy saturday

Holy Saturday always reminds me of what happened many years ago. When I was still little and my parents brought me to church on Holy Saturday. The priest then told them that Jesus is no where to be found, how can we have mass! Lols.

So today instead, I followed my parents to Orchard Road to try my luck at a little shopping. However, none of us bought anything, but we ate at this korean restaurant instead =D Its super nice! But yea, super ex too I guess, the bill turn out to be +$100. We had ginseng chicken soup, the hot stone pot of rice thing (with all the vege mixed in it + egg!), seafood korean pancake, fei zhu rou, prawn in egg batter...NICE...

And I am so addicted to online shopping!!! Just bought 3 tops and 1 dress =D



2010-02-25 - 1:29 a.m.

Reflection 1

Maria from LISC smsed me and told me to do a reflection on my day today. So perhaps I should.

Or maybe I'll just bring this a little back, when I attended LISC last night. Something said during then really struck me. Its about how God will not forgive us, if we do not forgive others.

It sounds really negative and scary doesn't it?

But when I stop to think about it. I realize it makes perfect sense. How easy it is for us to take for granted that Jesus can forgive us, just because we ask him to. Yet sometimes we never forgive other people, no matter how they beg you to, and how much they need it.

Everyone may have experienced betrayal or hurt from others once in a while. And yes, it can hurt, maybe for a while, a few days, months or maybe even years. The more we love the other person, the more strongly the hurt should feel. Then if you think about it, Jesus must be bleeding from his wounds everyday, because His love for us surpasses anything mortal. And yet, He promises to forgive us all our sins, as long as we allow Him to.

I guess its high time to realize that our relationship with Jesus can no longer be a one sided love.

And yes, I will try to be faithful and commit to this relationship.



2009-12-30 - 2:17 p.m.

thrown away

It is done. Thrown away.

I have recovered 3 diaries that I kept from the past. Was flipping through the pages and realized that I had also electronic diaries or blogs because I wrote the address on some entries. Then I went to check out the blogs online and to my amazement, they are still around. Just a whole load of crap and nonsensical ramblings.

But it is done. All gone.



2009-12-09 - 12:40 a.m.

things changed...

Went to somerset with grandma today and got a shock. The whole place has changed. I told her that I haven't been to the city like in months. Then she told me she hasn't been to somerset for a week and she's still shocked. HAHA.

Somerset has been in my memory forever covered with those zinc walls and gdness knows wad happens behind them. Now its all gone, and I see glorious beautiful shops.

Its like some addiction. I smell the shops and see all the glittery and gleeming christmas decorations, I can't help but feel happy.




2009-12-08 - 9:54 a.m.

SC marathon results

Early in the morning, decided to go amuse myself by searching for my marathon results :p

Seriously why they make the results so confusing. They should just put net timing.

Lols. 80% of people ahead of me…

AH! There u see matilda and majella with me =D FINISHER!

The yellow arrow shows where I am when the first person finished. OMG



2009-12-07 - 11:06 p.m.

time to start fyp...

Wow. I'm still left with aches from yesterday's 10km marathon. Now my life record for longest distance ran is 10KM!! Thanks to Matilda and Majella who accompanied me all the way =D It was a pretty nice feeling, to be running with so many people through the city area of Singapore. I especially liked the encouraging words i saw people write and pinned behind them. Maybe next time when I join, I'll write something nice and pin it up too.

Despite today being the only free day I'm gonna have for the rest of the week, I still squandered it to the TV and to sleeping. So terrible. But still, after I woke up from my nap at 4pm, I finally managed to start on my FYP! At least now, I figured how to use an event handler that can be used to call functions after a stated amount of time. So I made it call itself and display a sequence of pictures, that will cause it to look like a video. Just to make the plant pot sparkle when the user puts in water/sunlight/minerals etc. Hais...

Now I'm trying to make the seed be able to respond to what the user do. And its freaking irritating that there isn't a widely supported forum on this game engine. I like big platforms like secondlife and activeworlds where there are so many forums and discussions/tutorials where you can learn from. But then again, these are super commercialized that gives very little flexibility, unless you pay them of course. Torque on the other hand seems very flexible, but then there just ain't enough support. Maybe I just need to find the PHD more often. I hope he doesn't start to hate me for all my questions.

hais. Been hearing that my friends are stressed because right after exams their FYP profs will keep coming to haunt them to do their work. I emailed my prof and asked her what she need me to write for my mid term report. But she didn't reply me and I have no idea whether she is in China or Singapore.




2009-12-05 - 5:06 p.m.

bbq + sentosa

My legs are really tired now, and I'm so screwed because I got a marathon to run tmr!! Ah, only 10km, but still, for a person like me who hasn't ran more than 3.5K at a time in my entire life, this is going to be a feat!

Yesterday went for driving lesson at 12.20pm. Then the instructor, like the other instructors, said that my driving's fine, but I need to be more alert about the safety. I changed lane at a bend, at a traffic junction and next to a side road yesterday. Hais...Then I rushed to jurong safra to play l4d2 again. Up to now I have not survived a l4d2 campaign! This cannot be. But just got the game from jason, installing it at this moment =D

After that we all gather to have a bbq at my house! Ah love bbq, all the hotdogs (we had cheese onion flavor + plain + taiwan), scallops (LOVES), chicken wings, beef steak, unagi... =D Then towards the bbq u'll start to hate these food and hope u'll never get to eat them again. But by today, I'm looking forward to any other bbq again. HAHA.

Then today went to sentosa with the same group of people and we played frisbee and volleyball and monkey (using frisbee/kicking the ball).

Feels good to be in the sun (or whatever sun we had today) and to exercise after such a long time. Although every half hour somebody will definitely state that we should play l4d2 instead...but I'm still glad. There's this little pinkish glow on my face after all these, YAY!

Shall go back to finish installing l4d2. This got to work...



2009-11-23 - 7:13 p.m.

l4d2 special infected

Random: I am so freaking full from the macs meal I had just now. The McSpicy Meal was set at $7.95 on the display. I ordered McSpicy Meal Upsized with shaker fries and a change of drinks to ice milo medium size. I paid $7. Strange, but heck, it was a crazy meal.

URGH I need to study...my exams are tmr at 1pm and I'm still searching for such images. Ah what the hell. I just want to get my hands on these. I think its the I-just-want-to-do-anything-unrelated-to-studies-syndrome.

Omg. The team who designed this character must have some delusions about the female gender. Otherwise he probably knows a female boss who he hates and tortures in his dreams (the image of her probably got mutated a little, or not) and came up with this. Nice.

She as ugly as she is, is dangerous. She spits venom and claws.

This is the charger. He charges at the survivors and slams the last one in the row on to the wall or floor, not sure. Apparently the weakness is that he can't stop or change direction while at it, so you got to get out of his way.

The Jockey, ooo sexy, wearingly only small shorts and torn shirt. This guy is sneaky, running from behind u and jumping on ur back, steering you to dangerous zones, like where hordes are. The only thing u can do is to try to resist his movement while he is sitting on ur shoulder. And pray hard your team mates will actually care about you. Should be fun to play with for a versus game =D

I think this guy was played around by the creators, but they decided to drop him or will launch this new character in a later version. Already looks tortured without having to be killed.

The old characters of L4D are also brought back in L4D2. YAY.

Hunter rape.

Female boomer. Yeah, they actually have sexual differences. A perfect match with the previous male boomer.

Argh. Can't be bothered to find the rest. Witch now can stand and wonder about in the day. Smokers look slightly different, and I'm not too sure about the tank.



2009-11-15 - 4:37 p.m.


I am feeling so dazed.

On days when I slack and did v little work (which is most of the days), I feel so sick and worried at the end of the day.

Today I went on a frenzy and did like 5-6 exam papers in a row (can't be bothered to count) and now I'm feeling in a whirl as well.


Need to watch some videos to calm myself down =D



2009-11-13 - 10:34 a.m.

toasted butter buns

Yay! Just toasted some butter buns and put more butter in it! Throat a little dry and pain...but heck care, how can I resist toasted butter buns!

This reminds me of when I was young, my parents would make this on sunday and I would LOVE It a lot. We called it hong-bali-bali-bali-hong-lo-ba-li. Wow, it is such a long name. Then we would bring it out downstairs to have it by the poolside.

Miss those days~



2009-11-12 - 4:59 p.m.


its so sucky how u wake up feeling shitty already, the entire day is so terrible for studying.

Can't concentrate, and feeling frustrated all the time because I'm just so tired.


and lazy pple just keep asking for things. Why are some pple lazy beyond understanding.



2009-11-10 - 3:16 p.m.

what am i doing~~

Now at adm (sch of arts design media), trying to accomplish assignment 2 for my elective with my group.

I'm kind of confused what's happening actually, but we're focusing on concepts like fleeting moments of life, where a moment is there, captured as an art form and projected, only to fade away 15 seconds later.

In simple NORMAL people words, we take a picture of u on candid, project it on the wall and let it fade away 15 seconds later.

Facing loads of technical problems.




2009-10-18 - 10:06 a.m.

slowly and easy

Been trying to take things a little slower these days. Like what my friend said, we are not God. The world won't collapse because we are not there, or in a student's context, your project group won't die without you.

Then amazing, I realise that when I take it slow, I feel that I accomplish work as much or even more than when I'm ganjiong to do stuff all the time until like in the middle of unearthly hours.

I don't know but time is still really abstract to me.

Even managed to catch a movie with Matty. 500 days of summer, darn good movie. Love the originality and creativity and artistic feels of the movie. NICE!

Its not the typical feel good movie, but it brings u on different perspectives about the character and situation, and leaves u thinking about it after that.

May it just lacks something. I would have loved it if they gave a little perspective about Summer. I still dun really get her character. Or maybe its a movie that wants to make u feel for the guy, which is, he just doesn't get what Summer is thinking!



2009-10-16 - 11:33 p.m.

ready set

Sick. Down with flu and sore throat and miserable.

Yea right.

Been hearing some stories today. Just realised that there are people out there, friends who are close to me, people who look like they are having the same lifestyle as me, like going Uni and stuff.

They have some real problems that I didn't really think they would have.

Its just a flu, its just a whole damn load of assignments and labs. Its just lectures that half of the cohort don't understand too.

Stop whining and get going...

SHALL SETTLE upgrading to Windows 7 by tonight.

Bye bye vista~~



2009-10-13 - 12:29 a.m.

Fyp progress...or lack of it

My FYP teacher is just too crazy.

I left my lab at 430pm sharp to meet up her. As per usual for our Monday meetings, or at least those successful ones so far.

And her office was locked and bare.

So I head down to ER lab instead, where I know I'll find her phd student. Then I saw her talking happily in a meeting with the other profs. URGH.

So I went to speak to the PHD instead. Oh wells, lucky he is v nice and all, and really discussed in depth about my project.

I'm going to give up looking for her totally and just leech the phd. I am beyond freaking out for FYP. I have reached a state of immortal calmness for any project...




2009-10-12 - 2:56 a.m.

psycho gf

This series is so freaking funny!

Now there are 5 episodes, they will update every Tuesday!



2009-10-12 - 12:37 a.m.

words I need

You may think that if you truly have love and faith in another person, you'll never question his speech or his deeds.

But I think that everyone is just human. We all need reassurance. We just need to hear those words, again and again.

So I thank you for it. All the time =)



2009-10-08 - 10:38 p.m.

workingly tired

OH I'm so freaking tired. I cannot believe that there can be so much work to do.

Thank God for music and stupid facebook flash games and everything else that keeps me going...



2009-10-06 - 2:42 a.m.



Its damn scary. I started coding my prolog assignment at 7pm. Then I never stopped till now...its freaking 2.42am!

So horrifying. Somemore never finish.

I was attempting to do a sudoku on prolog. Now i'm left with checking the answer for each 3x3 grid. HOW HOW TO DO....

GOogle please help me...



2009-10-01 - 12:05 a.m.

bloody sick

Why would anybody bother to do something, when they are not even sincere about it.



2009-09-30 - 12:30 a.m.

face me

I may be 21 years old, but I still live in a dream.

Its so hard still to understand, how things dun turn out the way it should be. In only the most beautiful and wonderful way.

My parents are right, I'm like a child. Who don't know what others think, and don't understand what I'm entitled to or what I need.

That's why I need to bring it all out, to see it straight in the eye. Only then can I come out of the fairytale. To know what this world is really like.

To never be disappointed again.



2009-09-30 - 12:23 a.m.

sad driving lesson

Driving lesson today was simply horrible!!!

The lesson was on verticle parking. The instructor tried several methods with me, but all ended up hitting the right curb or the right pole. And we just tried again and again until there were 15 mins left of the lesson. And we got the correct technique and my parking passes. Its horrible how each car is different in its turning abilities. RAH.

Then while waiting for my turn, I saw this girl doing the verticle parking for a driving test. She hit the curb once, twice, thrice, FOUR TIMES. I was like counting to myself, 10 points...20 points...30 points...40 points...wow. felt so sad for her. She must be feeling so horrible inside the car. Saw another guy later on as well, who knocked the pole and mount the curb. Sads.



2009-09-27 - 8:42 p.m.

tiring day...

Just had a really exhausting day of rock climbing! Bet I'm gonna have limpy arms and legs tmr. But Yes! I've finally attained my Level 1 Certificate for climbing. Meaning I'm certified to belay anybody up the wall in asia =D I'm v safe! Any takers?

ANd oh...my FYP teacher replies, after i wrote her a long moanful letter that I was going sick with worry about FYP. she gave me several stuff to read, (I think in her hope of keeping me busy and not bothering her), and then she told me she'll be away overseas and told me to enjoy myself. There goes my recess to catch up on FYP again...

But at the same time, I emailed yundong the PHD student as well. Got to make him help me alr, if not i'm very screwed!!! At least he told me I can go find him anytime. hehe. soon soon...



2009-09-22 - 10:35 p.m.

sd card screwed

Something kind of sad happened.

During lesson time, my mother kept sending smses asking me how they can save a screwed up SD card.

They took the SLR to south korea and took tons of pictures (i presume) and while transferring, the computer screwed up, and they seemed to have lost all pictures.

Technology can be such a pain at times.



2009-09-20 - 2:16 a.m.

unexpected trip to checkpoint

Wow what else can happen sia.

I took bus 170 thinking that its last stop is woodlnads interchange but its NOT. Its woodlands CHECKPOINT. Then after I got off the bus, I turned to walk back the opposite way, to see if I can catch a bus back somewhere.

Then the security guards called me to them. And told me I can't go back like this, I have to go to an office for clearance, then let them lead me out.

So I went, then the officer looked at my IC like it totally isn't me (ok its time to change photo real soon). Then they said ok, and walked me out. Then I took a cab home. Yawns~~

Just watched time travellor's wife today. Was really really good and made me shed so many tears even though i already read the book. A MUST WATCH for LADIES!!!



2009-09-19 - 10:48 a.m.

my mee goreng...

Last night I was like really really hungry at 10 plus, then decided to go hunt for some food in the kitchen.

Feel like my relatives took all the food away with them when they went south korea mans. Time to go get somemore from minimart later.

But I managed to find this glorious maggie mee packet. And its the mee goreng one. Wah if I told this to osy or sarah, they will laugh madly at me, maybe will tell the mee goreng story next time.

So i opened the packet and then i can't FREAKING find the pot or the stove lighter!! So i felt damn dumb, then I put the packet into the fridge. Hugged my empty stomach and then go to sleep.

This morning, u can imagine my desire to eat the mee goreng. But when I woke up, I saw the maid cooking porridge already. Then she asked me if I wanted porridge or bread.

In my mind I could hear, "mee goreng...mee goreng...mee gorent..."

Then I said : "eh. porridge".

Then 5 mins later, i was slowly eating the fish porridge, still thinking about the mee goreng.

I MUST conquer it by lunchtime...



2009-09-17 - 9:46 p.m.

a room

Hm, am writing this entry from my aunt's room now. Just moved into my grandma's place yesterday.

Actually its quite nice. Coz this room has what I always wanted. To have a table big enough for me to put my laptop and do work. And also a mirror. Its frustrating at home how I change into clothes, but totally can't see myself, because my room got no mirror at all. Maybe that explains my distastful dressing...

I don't know why but I just like to have a single room that is self-sufficient with everything instead of having a big place and things set everywhere.

Best if I have a room, with toilet attached, with a fridge, with a tv, with a big table and a bed. Shelves to place all my books, and cupboards for my clothes. Then I'll happily survive inside.



2009-09-11 - 12:45 a.m.


Someone once said that its v stupid to argue over MSN and such. I thought it was just normal and perhaps inevitable, because communication lines are really migrating to the virtual world.

But tonight I just realise how stupid it really can be.

Just had kind of an argument over MSN because that person felt that JC people are all arrogant and think that results are the most important thing in the world.

I was so upset that I just didn't want to talk about it anymore. At first I thought that I was really angry with him for having some thoughts without any understanding about the other side of the story.

But then later I realise I wasn't angry with him at all, instead its about many other things that I felt in my entire life.

There are just some things you cannot tell everyone, not many will understand and most of the time it just backfires.



2009-09-06 - 3:20 p.m.

go go go!!!

Bye to all my dreams of having long beauty sleep. Been up and about last night thinking about my FYP project.

Yes! Its time to stop moping and moaning about it!

For some reason, I just wondered if NTU actually provides access to students to IEEE research papers. I duno to my horror (that i didn't know before) or to my delight (that i finally KNOW about it!) that YES we can access IEEE research papers!!

OMG. To find out only in my final year.

Anyways, was reading up this paper on virtual reality for education and am hugely inspired.

Its those moments where big dreams bubble all over my head and when u can see yourself basking in over-accomplishments and praises.

Oh sucks. Back to reality. I haven't even proposed the idea to my fyp teacher. Besides, I just looked at the start-up of using the application and am already having headaches.

Oh please please let the engine roll...



2009-09-05 - 2:54 p.m.

bad profs

I'm so freaking damn angry. And if I want to complain about anything about school these past few months, its always about the same thing. I don't even want to talk about it anymore.

I realise the best way is to talk to the prof myself.

Seriously if its really that bad, I'm going to report and request for a change of prof.

Enough is enough.



2009-09-02 - 1:26 a.m.


Yawns. Been working on my FYP, and its so tiring. Because I'm not very good with modeling stuff, nor am I good at designing stuff. Took so long just to model a stupid robot, that looks like shit. Haha. But I still have a certain fondness for this ugly thing, like only the way the creator can to her own creation.

How how how, how can I get pandora or alice or rebecca or anybody into my little creation!!! SPEAK JUST SPEAK!!



2009-08-31 - 11:46 p.m.

see the beauty

There is no perfect little story in the world. Its true.

We just have to understand and accept ourselves as well as others. Of course we all wish to know, what exactly will happen if we make certain decisions. But that's life, we will never know. We just have to appreciate and learn to see the beauty in what we have =D



2009-08-27 - 9:16 p.m.


Just saw the article on wan bao about NTU students playing games that are deemed being "too much" by parents.

The game given as the example was the one where the guys held a banana around their waist line or tie it there or whatever. Then the girls had to bend down to eat it.

Seriously its damn bloody disgusting.

I dun understand why university students, and leaders (in a sense that they organise and lead in the camps) can come up with such low-life games for orientation.

Its very scary when you think of how these highly educated people, who are likely to be holding high-flying positions and playing such a major part in nation building in future, are having such sickening kicks in school.



2009-08-25 - 11:16 p.m.


Usually when there's a problem you just want to get to the crux of it and solve it, clearing it once and for all.


But not everything can be so clear cut and not everything can be solved this way. I don't really like what's happening, but it seems like the best way to handle it is to not do anything.

I know this as a fact but it still puzzles me logically, and its soooooo difficult.

And it is painful, although as expected.



2009-08-24 - 9:08 p.m.

people who don't give a damn

FYP project plan is done and submitted. The moment FYP teacher saw my paper, she laughed and said, "So detailed ah". Then although I always struggled and fought to see my FYP teacher, but when I do, the meeting always barely lasts 5 minutes. She just simply told me to find the h1n1 phd student.

I know its bad to refer to him like that, but I duno how else to.

Its very sickening when you take out your tutorial and in that attempt to do it consienciously and properly (like finally for the first time), you realise you can't do a single shit. Because the teaching is like shit and the notes are like shit. Oh wells, tutorials back into the file to only resurface on the tutorial lesson.

Its very frustrating how life and emotions can be so controlled by others, especially those who don't give a damn.



2009-08-22 - 11:59 a.m.


I have a FYP submission for project plan on Monday, and I still don't have a project topic. How screwed can I be.

My teacher is absolutely uncontactable. I emailed her duno how many times. I did meet her twice, but all she tells me are rubbishy things and telling me that I can contact her whenever I want. Bullshit.

I'm sure the h1n1 admin person is back. He is suppose to just enter my account details into the NTU account so that I can access the existing projects. HOW HARD CAN IT BE. need like a month to do it is it. A month and still no news.

I slid a note into my FYP prof's pigeon hole.



Then i put down my handphone number and email contact.

Like what the hell.

Is it so difficult to ask for some responsibility and humane feelings from people who are highly educated?

I'm just short of writing vulgarities on the paper already.



2009-08-16 - 12:56 a.m.


Just came across this show called "give big" or something. Its those kind of reality shows where people do some charitable act challenge, then at the end of each challenge, the judges will decided who did well, and one will leave every week.

Its kind of disturbing to me, because the good will to give, is mixed with competitiveness here :s

Just looked thru some old pictures on facebook. Its nice to see and get reminded of the gatherings I had previously. =D



2009-08-13 - 11:22 p.m.


Haven't we always been taught to depend on our gut feeling?



2009-08-13 - 8:20 p.m.


Today once again my mother tired to engage with me a conversation on how dangerous water is. She said that recently got some people stood in the sea, with the water level up to their waist. Suddenly, there was a huge wave that swept them away.

She's always on to the talk to get me off the idea of diving. But I really want to try.

Then I told her, you know, there are so many bus accidents. I think you shouldn't go to genting anymore, its too dangerous.

She absolutely loves taking the coach to genting.

But I want to go diving!



2009-08-12 - 4:03 p.m.


Am now sitting in ADM. You would think that in a school like ADM (arts design and media), the place will be filled with art pieces and funky walls and such. But actually the entire place is more like white washed walls with plain cement walls.

The first time i got here, I felt that this place is far too cold and ugly. This is my second time, and there is this bunch of students making a lot of noise with the radio on and stuff. Then I walked past the lockers and noticed how the students decorated their own. Yea, not uncommon for art students, but its really nice.

Oh wells. Just soaking in the atmosphere while i wait for my lesson. Went to find my FYP teacher just now, and she told me the person who can let me start on it is on leave with H1n1. RAH. when will it stop haunting us.



2009-08-10 - 3:46 p.m.


Wah so sians. Accidentally clicked on something then what I typed was gone.

ANYWAYS. Just back from celebrating OSY's birthday! For a surprise, we booked a room and had a stayover! We got the xiao char bo blindfolded from outside the hotel and brought all the way to the room that way. HEHE. End up she thought that we were going to bring her to a haunted house. LOL. Like would we even dare to go there??

The place is really super nice. It had this 2 wooden swing doors and a little path to the hotel room door with plants around at the sides. Here's what it is behind the door:

This is a really bad picture. Because I took all these pictures only after we made such a mess, and after I woke up in a dreamy daze in the morning. And...all taken with my phone camera, mostly with the lights on. Sorry brains not switched on yet in the morning...Anyways, here's the little room next to the door with 2 mirrors, a table and cupboards...

This is the humongous and wonderful toilet. I had a good time bathing in it. Because the water was powerful and really hot, the way I like it. And they provide such nice shampoo, conditioner, body soap and even moisturizer for ur body! I love the body soap coz it had that minty feeling left on your skin, that makes you feel more awake and refreshed! Yes even at 4am when I bathed.

I assure you its much bigger than it looks.

Here's the living room, aka slacking/ chit chat room!! Eh the sun is a little decoration we brought along. Not provided by the hotel...

The bedroom! Ohs, the bed is soooo comfy.

And these is what we can see from our window. Familiar?

Woot! And before osy came, we just watched national day parade on TV. as its obvious, couldn't catch any fireworks, so had to make do with the TV. But it was amusing to see things like the PAP members waving their flags and all, while their faces looks so terribly bored, and at 8.22 when the nation is suppose to rise to recite the pledge, I instead noticed that some people on TV placed their hands wrongly for the pledge. HEHES.

I wanna slack more. I dun wanna go sch tmr!!!

OH yea, I know OSY will see this so....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OSY!!! Can u please grow up just a bit? :p



2009-08-08 - 11:33 p.m.

National'dae dinner

Went to the Marsiling community centre national day dinner with ah ma today! Never really thought about national day as anything much besides a public holiday, but oh wells, the ticket is bought, and its $20, so pretty cheap.

Look at all the xiao mei mei and xiao di di getting ready for their cheerleading performance later! They are real cute and professional.

And this is called too enthu. At the supposedly official dinner start time of 7pm, this is what I see around me...

Its still a bad chinese habit. End up right, dinner only started at 8pm! was super hungry!! Mean while i got excited over the stupid freebies i was getting. Although its really damn stupid, and i was just bored la...

Seriously, these are stuff i never thought i'll own...

Got national flag, merlion biscuits, a small red torch, those flatable long balloons that u hit and produce sound...

And also got cake!! Before dinner. its so what la, they purposely make us eat cake so that we get too full easily later...

happily cutting cake


and finally the first dish comes...

and some soup that is suppose to bluff u into thinking its shark fin...

Then there was this long period of time when there were so many national day speeches (i tot suppose to have one only?) and read in 4 different languages.

There was this part that was really puzzling. Duno who this guy, came up and read the message. Then i remember this line:

"Singapore has become what it is now because of the effective and competent government"

LIKE HELLO. the hard work of the common people is totally forgotten and uncredited for.

Then he continued to say:

"The performance tonight will depict the years singapore has been through but it cannot be taken for real. It can only be felt by the people who went through it themselves"

Can say in a nicer way a not. As though the performance is like suppose to show nothing like that.

Who was it who wrote the SCRIPT for him! or did he write it himself?

Then there was this guy supposedly came from superstar competition and sang 3 songs. Really quite nice i must say, as it was not recorded singing.

Then finally where everyone must wave the flag and shine the torch and sing touching NDP songs...

then yay go home.



2009-08-06 - 9:17 p.m.

gre testing

AHHHHH!! I finally did my GRE test!

The test is at 12 noon but had to arrive by 11.30am. So got to the place and had to surrender like everything. The only thing I could bring in was myself. I even had to take off my watch and empty my pockets.

Had to write 2 essays, 30 mins and 45 mins each. Then a verbal test, then a quantatative test, 30 mins, 45 mins respectively. Then THEY STILL HAD A research section, where they test u some questions, in order to decide how they should test the future generations. Already so tired still test. But they wrote that if you do it well as compared to your own results, they will award the candidate US$250. Oh my.

BUt i doubt i'll get it la. got so lazy i anyhow answer the research part.

Did better than i expected. but i think still have to retake :(



2009-08-05 - 1:12 a.m.

right now!!!

It is surely an addiction. 4 hours of L4D and I'm still hungry for more!! MORE ZOMBIES TO KILL!!

I should really stop having expectations of others and sit around waiting for things to happen. I've got to do it. Right Now!!!

1 day left to mug for GRE...

Just did a diagnostic test. And I got 410/800 for my verbal test.

Oh MYyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

fail already la.



2009-08-03 - 6:45 p.m.

tedious card renew

Whole body totally aching after the exercise I had yesterday! So I picked up my PA discount coupons and started searching for something good.

Aha! There is 50% off facial and massage in Amore for first timers who are PA members! So I quickly booked an appointment for today.

Then to my dismay, I realised that my PA card is gone!! Now to think of it, I haven't seen it for months, maybe even for a couple of years :S Then I rushed to the nearest community centre to my house hoping to renew it and ask for a temporary one for replacement.

"I want to report loss for my PA card"

"Oh no, let me check, for safety reasons...ok let me go and ask"

At that time I was thinking what safety measures must I take when I lose a PA card, but I just let the woman go in and ask her colleagues. What I mentioned above is already very brief, she is SUPER SUPER luo suo. And I was already so rushing for time.

Then she came back and said that there's no safety measures to be taken, because nobody can use your PA card for anything (DUH!!) then she say she'll help me get on with it.

Then she talked about just stuff here and there while typing on her computer. Then I got very curious about what the hell she's doing, coz she cannot renew my card without even knowing my name or my IC no or anything.

"eh. don't u need to know any details?"

"Orh ok wait ah...do u have link points?"

NO. what link points. I dun shop at NTUC all the time.

"U see, if u have link points in the card, then u waste them by losing them, its $1 for one point bla bla bla"

Why all these information when I DON'T HAVE LINK POINTS.

Then she kept talking and talking, but I buay tahan then I just tell her, "eh actually i only interested in getting a new card".

Then she continue talking and talking about how wonderful the PA card is. Then FINALLY she ask me for my IC number. After which she kept trying to explain to me that renewing is $10 and if i apply for a replacement card is $5.90 so its not worth it bla bla bla and she tried to count in terms of time how different the expenses are and everything.


Then she say she duno if the new card will arrive in march 2010 (one month after my card expire) or one month from now. Then she went off to ask the colleague again...

Seriously, if she's not like older than me and all. I would really get pissed off and insist i just want things done. And I just need a temporary replacement card. Which to my dismay, she say there is none.

Then I finally got out of the place and saw the bus zoom past me. I must have ran about 100-150metres after the bus!!! Felt almost like life was seeping out of me when I finally reached the bus front door in time. Thanks to the horde of sch children boarding the bus, so it stopped at the bus stop for quite some time.

Then I finally reached Amore. The lady told me to present the coupon and I did. And in I went, there was no need to show any PA card at all.




2009-08-02 - 7:53 p.m.


Just had my maiden online shopping trip!! My friend asked me to contribute to her shopping cart because she needed a min spending of 300USD to order!! Its crazy, but still, mad people like us still wanna order!

The website is www.zipia.net. And they do have quite nice stuff there, just a little ex after the conversion to sgd plus shipping cost. Was just happily browsing and adding stuff into the shopping cart. Then my friend MSN me and demanded if I was going mad. I quickly checked my shopping list and realise I just put in $75++ into it!! Then I hurry took out 3 nonsense items and left about S$50. The 3 items left were a belt (A MUST! I've been looking for a thin leather belt for the longest time), a top and a necklace.

Haha. I know nothing on online shops is a must. But oh wells!!

Went out to do sports today at NUS. Played frisbee and touch rugby. Both sports were also my maiden trys but oh my gdness. They really take the energy away from u much more than u can expect!! I'm so tired now, from it all. After which I went to the washroom and got a shock when I saw my face. Didn't expect myself to get so much darker just about 2 hours under the sun!!

Ohs. too tired, just got to bathe right now.



2009-08-01 - 9:09 p.m.

niggling thoughts


I'm here instead of studying for GRE. Rah. I seem to get natural secretions of procrastin-x in my body without any external efforts :(

Starting to get really uptight about GRE. Mum's been asking about progress, and I just snare at her. I realise its not her I'm irritated with for the question, but its myself. What have I been doing!!

Started to cancel dates I promised people. Feel really bad, but I'll feel worst if I fail!! Then I'll have to struggle with it again during school time. Is it possible to get good scores on the first try?

Another niggling thought as well, when will I ever pass my driving!!

Supposed to do loads of GRE mugging today. But Sims3 is too alluring. Then I tried to play it while I study. Like when the sim is sleeping or at work, then I'll whip out the book and mug a little.

Gotta change the habit. Stop playing sims3 and I'll dedicate myself to sims3 on friday when the test is over.

NO. Then what about my FYP!!!



2009-07-31 - 12:05 p.m.

throw away!! All of it!!


Finally settled my IO interview. Despite being abandoned and forgotten at 10am, our initial appointment. Then the prof smsed me to apologize and set the appointment at 1130am instead.

I realise I got this really bad habit of having the joy of throwing projects away. Like even if the project (it usually is) is uncomplete or like shit. When the dateline's up, I'm just more than happy to throw it to somebody else. Oppx. I hope no future prospective employer reads this :p

I'm going to miss student life. Like taking up a project, screwing it up, smoke it to sound perfect, then throw it away =D




2009-07-30 - 1:29 p.m.

stupid taxis

Urgh. Just had my runs after eating korean maggie. Hope like my next visit will clear everything once and for all.

The rest of the day earlier hasn't been smooth either. Woke up in horror to find out that my PDL has expired. So I went to the post office at 9.20am when my lesson was due at 9.50am.

I really wonder where all our tax money goes to. There was just one miserable counter open for the bloody long morning queue! But got to admit they got a good worker, coz I could see that she does her work as fast as she can. Then when it was finally my turn, a lady sauntered out smiling a duno for what Miss universe smile then opened another counter.

Rushed out to the taxi stand at around 9.45am. There were 3 other people in front of me, and no taxi in sight. As I'm going to say again, WHO SAID TAXI DRIVERS ARE OUT OF JOBS! Its really v irritating how they clutter the road and be such nuisances when you dun need them, and when u need them, it seems like a big conspiracy time for them to go into hiding just to torment you.

Ran away to the MRT instead. Took the traditional way of MRT then shuttle bus provided by BBDC. Lesson was a bit scary. Went past the speed limit and nearly ran into the green grass at the side of the road, until my instructor hurriedly pull my wheel back, saving both our precious lives. I just prefer to think it this way rather than it was an attempt to save the car.

When it was all over, I was only too glad to be on my way home. When I reached the last road I had to cross to my hse, 3 taxis drove pass, all stopping for a while before they realise I wasn't waiting for one.

Oh yea, rub it in, rub it in.



2009-07-30 - 1:25 a.m.


POWERPREP has arrived at my door step. Surely this is a sign!!

Been up and down addicted with l4d. Logically u cannot pinpoint wad's so awesome about gruesome killing of zombies which just run aimlessly. Seeing their limbs and head tear apart with the impact of a bullet.

But still it keeps you going.

I guess what's so attractive about this game, and surprisingly to girls too, is actually the simplicity of it. The goal is very straightforward. Kill everything that doesn't look like ur 3 other comrades journeying with you and survive till you get rescued at the end of the game.

It may seem crazy to go through the same map and the same old thing over and over again. But the game does try to lure you back with little surprises like random sprawning of zombies and their more powerful kind at different parts and time of the game. They also allow players to strategise their moves so as to improve their survival rates and time taken to conquer each map.

With this, it just keeps you coming back again and again trying to outwit yourself in the previous game. It doesn't have a steep learning curve, but there is always some way you know u can improve.

I just hate the headaches and slight nauseus feelings u get after like a 3 hour run :p



2009-07-29 - 5:02 p.m.

FYP teacher found!!

Its been a long time since I've been back to NTU. But its been a lucky day!

Went to funan first to get my laptop. Its finally done! Then made my way to NTU, with the gleam of hope that I'll find the professors I need to find without any appointments. Walked right into the ER lab and damn! The door was locked. But right after I sent out an sms to ask where the prof is, in he came through the lab door. Then he said he saw the other prof in the meeting he just had! So I prayed to God and asked where can she be. And I headed to her office (ok, a no brainer answer). And there she was. But mind u, its the first time I saw her in her office.

Right after that, i just got to congratulate myself, with the favourite cheese sticks that were sold at the Canadian pizza at can A. Then the guy told me they no longer sold cheese sticks but cheese balls and says that they taste the same. So i ordered them and took a bite.

Obviously the guy's taste buds need some checking.

Not the same at all! Hated them. And ate until I couldn't even drown the last ball and threw it away.

Oh wells. Perhaps the luck was finished with finding the two profs.



2009-07-18 - 8:43 p.m.


I'm STILL missing my laptop. Every since I've been abusing it with hours on sims3, it finally declared cold war and died on me. Everytime I turn it on, it pouts and shows me an array of emotions, in computer language, its a multi-colored screen, where you can hardly make out the display and words. So off it went to rehab centre (aka Fujitsu service centre) and there is shall stay until it behaves. Its been there for a week already, and today I called in, missing it loads. And the guy told me its gonna take another 1-2 weeks. Damn!

Alas for me, I decided to indulge in other pleasures. Went off to cut my hair in the morning, and got rid of some amount of hair. Then it was really really warm, and on my way home, saw these kids all playing in the pool. So did something I haven't done for such a long time, went to swim!! It was just wonderful. But after like 15 minutes, I was already so tired, and went upstairs to bathe. What a loser, but oh wells!

After which, its a treat for my mum to go for one facial in Amore. The moment i saw the entrance of it, I knew i was neither prepared mentally or physically for it. I was wearing a JC PE t-shirt (not even my JC) and my sec sch shorts, plus slippers. The place is just so pro and nicely decorated. They first bring u to their so called "oxygen room" which I presume, they provide air in the room which contains more oxygen than the normal concoction. Then there they serve ginger tea (delicious!) plus they bring a hot water basin for u to soak your feet.

It feels so ... I get this weird sense of guilt. When I get pampered like this.

Worst still, later the lady came in, and she'll take ur feet and place them on a tower on her lap and she'll very gently wipe them dry for you. I really feel v odd about such things, especially when the people are older than me, and most of the time it is. Oh wells, at least the older i get, the better i'll feel.

Then she brought me to another room, where there was lovely music and all, then they'll give u this cloth where u wrap around your body (eh. of course after removing ur t-shirt) and you can just lie there on the bed.

The facial was not bad, besides the real painful procedure of removing the white and black heads. omg. My face is just so filled with them, it was prolonged torture for me. And after the facial, my face is like totally filled with red spots which I hope didn't scare off the nice gentle people of the church where I went to later.

Even after that when I went for dinner with my grandma, she exclaimed when she saw me, " why your face so red!" then laugh hilariously.

The lady at amore said it'll go off by tmr morning. I sure hope so!



2009-07-13 - 12:06 a.m.

give and take

Its funny how people can be at the same place, looking at the same things, but feel so differently.

I first discovered it when I was in secondary school. As a junior, I would enjoy going CCA, carrying out the activities planned by our seniors. After that, i would hate CCA because I have to plan the activities for the bloody juniors. And it was tiring. Suddenly CCA brought about a very different meaning in my life.

When I see things that I don't like, i love making changes. I end up wanting to be part of the change, to make things better for people.

Maybe i'm just too naive, and need a lot more kicking from life lessons. Coz through the implementation of the changes, i realise how difficult it can be. I finally get to see the sweat and blood behind those scenes.

Just attended a rally on last sat night. Was part of the backstage crew. I saw the people were so high, over wad's happening. And i can't feel it at all, coz most of the time, i was just putting on the headset listening out for instructions and giving instructions to other people.

I saw how people at the frontline can enjoy the happenings so much, and push for it to go on and on forever. Then I saw how the backstage crew beg for it to stop, coz they were all exhausted and wanted to go home.

There were parts of me really happy to see i was contributing to the happiness and enjoyment of the people. But part of me wanted to curse at them, for the sian-ness i was feeling. Actually it wasn't that bad, but when i saw people who weren't suppose to stay back so late, had to, just because the people who weren't suffering wanted to, get upset. Then i realise how such little people can so easily be forgotten while others have fun.

I'll always remember for everything I enjoy, there are a whole load of people to thank for.

And I'll TRY to remember, that for the hard work i put in, there are people who will benefit, and its all that matters.



2009-07-08 - 11:44 a.m.

life in a cubicle

In office waiting for lunch time to come. Actually there isn't any official lunch time. Just waiting for some people.

Life in a cubicle, can really make u reflect about, well, the rest of ur life in a cubicle. Actually, there's nothing much to reflect about a cubicle, but what's outside which is what u're missing totally.

Been reading a lot of www.phdcomics.com. Although not a phd, i can sympathize. Where is everybody when u need them!! Sch's bugging with emails for us to start on FYP, and I'm bugging my FYP teacher to give a damn about me, and she's nowhere to be found!!

Been stuck in graphics programming in my work for the longest time. Can't seem to get supervisor to help. Kinda sick. Dun blame me for playing facebook tower defence for healing purposes!!!



2009-06-05 - 2:45 p.m.

Monsters vs aliens

Yawnssss. This been on my MSN nick whenever I'm at work. And it also reflects my own feelings.

I've decided. That despite prestige might be linked to research work, by some fool, I found out its something really quite different.

Found out that:

1) It lets u realise u dun know much, or anything at all for that matter!

2) It makes u realise that whatever u dream about or want to do, its actually been fulfilled by somebody on the other side of the planet. And they are totally not sharing the secret.

3) It makes u feel stupid and unaccomplished.

Enough of the sick words.
Just watched "monsters vs aliens" and its damn cool! And I watched it in 3D, by some fortunate event! Because I was booking the tickets online for a non-3D version. And then, there was some payment transaction problem and I had to restart the procedure. Curse and swear I did, but wholla! When i clicked on the drop down menu to book again, I then discover that there's a 3D version! So instead I booked the 3D one, so totally worth it!!




2009-05-31 - 9:17 p.m.

reality reality

Have u ever watched some films, about young girls being tricked and abducted. Raped and forced into prostitution or indecent showbizz. Don't you feel sorry for them, like how can these evil men just exploit them like this! Damn them all, and shoot them down!

But these don't only happen in films, but sadly, in reality too. And its in a much greater scale, with much more gruesome and disgusting details behind all the dirty scenes. And the reason behind all these? Surprise surprise. Its not all the evil men u saw in the show. Its the audiences. The demand.

Its amazing how so many people would cry for these young girls (some silly pretty rich actresses) while they continue to support these industries by buying the tickets to indecent shows, buying pornographic materials or even going into prostitution. That's right. The money paid, goes right into the evil men's pockets.



2009-05-31 - 8:53 p.m.

peace in pieces?

I just watched Fahrenheit 9/11. I have nothing much to say about the political aspects of the film, although yea ironically, its the main gist of the show. But being the pighead of politics and world knowledge, I really shouldn't dish out any inappropriate comments due to my own ignorance.

Instead, I was very disturbed at the scenes of unimaginable suffering and pain that the people suffered. People whose lives just changed overnight when they lose their husbands, wives, children, family, friends to some man-made weapon. Why, just why must they suffer so much, surely, nothing is so important as to bestow such terrible things on anybody!

I'll never again laugh at the apparantly "pathetic" attempts for Singapore to celebrate Racial Harmony Day. I see now, how important peace is in the world.

You know how some people are like really prejudiced against some nationality, race or religion. Its really bullshit. If one dislikes a certain group of people, it just shows how ignorant you are, because you just don't understand their culture, or the circumstances they live in. Or even if they were to do something wrong, and you criticise them, or do something harmful, while blatantly declaring that its "an eye for an eye", then its really an "asshole for an asshole".

People tend to think what they do is harmless. Like its just funny, to call people names, and crack childish racist jokes behind them. They just don't realize, that a simple crude remark or action, can spark conflict, that could destroy the very fragile peace that prevails anywhere.



NTU singapore
computer science

|computer science|



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